Friday, September 30, 2011

The Long Walk (Short-short fiction)

So, after all this angst about not having a writing schedule, (because my beloved toddler gets up too early and I’m too tired at the end of the day) I had to change my writing goal. I am writing short-short fiction or short poetry. I know I tell other writers, revise, revise, revise, but I suck at it, unless I have finished a piece. Unfortunately, that story I was working on did not get done: The fucker is still over 80 some pages long. My goal to finish it this summer got lost under peals of laughter (cliché).

I did, however, soak up a lot of experiences in the park, so I don’t feel like such a Godforsaken loser having spent my summer playing, instead of writing. The funny thing is that some writers probably wish they had played more with their kids and been able to devote a whole summer to them. In any case, I am not letting go of the nagging desire because it’s the one thing I have not done. (Well, I haven’t been to Europe, but that’s not as crucial.) Well, and it’s the one specter that haunts me on a regular. Like a few days ago, I felt like I was having a mid-life crisis; no fooling, with the blues and everything. And since I’m happily married and love my life in general, I knew it was THIS. So, here goes again. Let’s not even say again, aqui esta y ya.

My first short-short draft (yes, it’s a draft) is a fun story about an undocumented immigrant who encounters the walking dead and juxtaposes the experiences of walking through the desert with the horrors he is seeing. Wow, that doesn't sound like fun at all.
===================
“The Long Walk”
September 30, 2011
Written by Maria J. Estrada


Ismael reinforced the door one more time; not that it mattered because they would not figure out how to undo the latch, let alone open the door handle. But, it gave him something to do, quietly duct tapping another layer of cardboard behind the nailed coffee table. He knew the cardboard wouldn’t hold so much as a fart outside, but it was all he had.

Besides, the muertos were confused and quite pendejos. Though, every now and then he would spy one outside the window, and he swore he saw a twinkle of intelligence in the glossy eyes, but it was just a reflection. Besides, he knew by now that they were blind. Even though he was pissing his pants, when things got ugly, he had left the trailer when they weren’t so many to get his tools out of his car. They only noticed him when he, stupidly, slammed the car door shut and then exclaimed, “¡Puta madre!”

His heart skipped. He heard someone turning the latch. It was followed by a rhythmic scratching.

“¿Who is there?” he whispered. He looked through the small window, as he spied Betty the Whore. She turned to see him; nothing about her face revealed that she was one of them. Just as he had seen the week before, her long blond hair was neatly braided, and she still had on a gorgeous red lipstick that he loved her to wear when she did unladylike things for him down below. But one of them must have bitten her below her skirt because she was as jodida as all the other ones walking and dragging their sad asses through the dirt.

He gasped and asked no one, “Oh no. ¿Si es como SIDA?” Thinking long and hard he blanched; what if she had not been bitten? Crossing himself out of habit instead of devotion, he sat heavily on his only kitchen chair. It scraped loudly, causing Betty the Whore to moan. Betty remained out there, calling the attention of others, not many, but enough to make him grateful for the dried corn he had stashed in the cup board.

Two hours later, he realized Betty the Whore wasn’t giving up.

He stared at his toolbox and assessed everything he could use to kill her and the five others. A screwdriver would work, but could he take it out fast enough to kill others? He put the most lethal items on the floor: three screw drivers, a large wrench, and a hammer.

“Hmm, five tools for five muertos,” he muttered, eyeing the pincers and practicing his numbers and words. Then, he shook the thought of extracting her teeth and doing other things to her, “Estas loco hombre.”

*


Everyone had said he was loco y peor, when he left San Juan del Rio, on foot, to cross the U.S. He had not wanted to leave, and really wasn’t as desperate as most, with wives and kids, but the economy was so bad. He hadn’t fixed a car in three months, and he was the best mechanic. So, he left on foot to save money.

It had been a long trek to the Texas border. Many people had been kind to him on the way, many people with family on the other side. Trusting, he had let a slick man with a silk shirt and tinted glasses take him across for $2,000. It was a miserably hot June day, and by that time, he was carrying almost nothing but his toolbox and a jug of water. The fancy man was true to his word; he did take Ismael across the border to a section of the fence far, far away from border guards and automated machine guns. But then, the son of a bitch had dumped him and stolen his water. Just dumped him like an unwanted dog: no, worse.

For four days, he walked disoriented. His feet were strong, but his skin itched terribly and was starting to feel ever so tight. The feeling in his throat was not the most troubling: It was the headache that got worse no matter what he did. It was so agonizing, he would have taken his own life, but he held onto hope. Even in his confusion, he thought he saw that 1969 Mustang from the American magazine. Somewhere there was a 1969 Mustang that needed to be brought to life. That was his American Dream. But, in that vast expanse of shrubbery and steam, he had seen no one. He tried getting water from a cactus, effectively thorning his hands, but did know how. He dug deep and nothing. Instead he ate some raw cactus, but that was not enough. Besides, I was difficult to swallow. The fatter his tongue got, the more confused he became.

At night, it was so bitterly cold he had bitten himself horribly and tried crying, but had no tears. That had caused a deeper headache. On the fifth day, he sat in resignation. In the distance, he saw a snaking dust storm, but knew it was an illusion. Before then, a long rattlesnake had crawled inches from him and looked at him benevolently. That is how he knew he was dying.

*

Bang! Ismael fell out of his chair right onto this nalgas.

Who was shooting?! It was so close by; he looked out the window, and spied his quiet neighbor, the father of three. They would wave to each other politely, but he had never met the man, properly. Now, the man held a rifle, Ismael could not recognize.

Bang, bang, bang! One shot went through his door.

“¡Cuidado!” Ismael shouted. Then opened the window and shouted again, “¡Oiga! ¡Cuidado!”

The neighbor looked startled. Ismael had done such a good job of being quiet, the neighbor probably thought he was dead. He gave a shy wave, fired one more shot, and disappeared.

*


“Fuck the beaner,” said a rough voice.

“No Dad,” pleaded a small voice, “We have to wait for the Border Patrol.”

“Ah, he’s dead anyway,” said the old man, “ ‘Sides, Scott is really sick. Shit, I should have waited to bring you boys out here.” The man gave Ismael a hard kick; that woke him some from his stupor.

Ismael saw a blur of blonde hair and light skin; without the other man noticing, the boy dropped things near him and whispered, “I’m awful sorry about my ‘Pa.” Ismael had not understood what the boy said, but he heard compassion. His vision was blurry, as he saw the truck speed off.

The blonde boy had left him a bottle of water and a wrapped bar. An infinity later, Ismael opened the water. He gulped at first and began vomiting, and somewhere in his memory of the long walk to the U.S. he remembered old self-taught lessons, and he forced himself to drink slowly. He had enough reserve to save a bit for later.

At night, he managed to stand up and stumble towards the truck. He figured, there had to be a road up ahead, somewhere.

When he walked what seemed like miles, he tripped over something. Ismael tried to scream, but he was too broken. This was not a hallucination. It was a girl, no more than fifteen with a look of endless pain. Her long black hair floated in the wind. He didn’t need to know someone had brutalized her. Maybe that gringo with the truck.

He looked deep into her eyes and tried hard not to puke. Crawling away, he stopped and looked at the sky. Dawn was coming with its magical array of colors. He loved sunrises, but today, he wanted the night to last forever. He tried not to, but he looked at the girl; she had been wearing a deep red shirt.

In the end, that is what saved him.

*


With resolve, Ismael took the large tin of coffee and headed towards the neighbor’s house. It was hot and steamy, infused with the smell of cinnamon. There was no point in dying alone; besides, maybe his little ones needed help. For good measure, he took some Mexican candy he had been saving, Calacas with sweet and spicy coating.

He inspected himself in the mirror; he covered just about every inch of his body, like an Arab. He had his hammer at the ready and his tools in loops around his belt.

“Un super heroe,” he chuckled.

The coast seemed clear, but one could not be careful enough. Listening intently, he realized the dead were all rotting. He would have to take care of that later.

Stepping over the dead, Ismael paced towards his neighbor’s trailer. He wasn’t sure what to say because his English was still so limited, so he used the first words he leaned in his Spanish lessons at church, “Hello, my name is Ismael Contreras!”

A small head jutted over the window and scurried off. He thought it was the oldest boy. A few seconds later, the gun poked out the window.

“What do you want?” asked an uncertain, unaccented voice.

“Hello,” he replied stupidly, “my name is Ismael Contreras. Tengo cafe.”

The window closed and the door opened a few inches, and he was welcomed with a laugh, “Shit. You look plain silly.” The door opened wider, and he walked in, handing the gunman the tin of coffee.

“Hey,” said the man, “you forgot to close your front door.”

“¿Como?” the man pointed to his front door.

“¡Puta madre!” said Ismael and ran back to his trailer. A few minutes later, he was back.

The man was laughing desperately and then shut up suddenly. Both listened intently, but there were no other sounds.

Ismael looked around, “Este, woman?”

The man’s face dropped and shook his head. Ismael clapped his hand on his shoulder. The dad passed cups all around, even to the little one.

His father introduced them by age, Michael, Patrick, and Scott. Scott was maybe two years old. Ismael presented the candy and the children were awestruck.

“Save them for later,” commanded the father. He pointed to the empty cupboard, “We were moving.”

Ismael did not understand and the man pantomimed.

“Ah,” said Ismael, “Malo.” Ismael had done the opposite, even before the dead began to rise. He had water, corn, sugar, salt, and more water. After nearly starving to death and dying of thirst, he became a Family Dollar hoarder, even haggling with the clerks in broken English.

“My boys haven’t eaten in days,” said the man.

Ismael saw their dried skin and the white patches on the youngest. This thing had started over a week ago or was it more? He needed no translation and without a word, Ismael stepped out and brought back a box. The father tried to decline, but Ismael understood male pride.

“You pow, pow!” said Ismael matter of factly, pantomiming the gun. That opened the door to a whole new friendship.

The man would not leave his children in the trailer, but Ismael was bold.

Eventually, he ventured off to the Cocopah Corner Store, but there were too many of them there. One turned to head towards him, but instead he sped off taking a circuitous route through the orange groves.

Ismael was no stranger to agriculture; his father had been a small rancher. He picked overripe oranges and young spinach. He knew there was patch of peanuts somewhere but wasn’t sure about that season.

He returned with his bounty, and saw the man sitting outside the trailer. Ismael knew that look of defeat. It was the same one he had on his face when no cars came to his shop.

“My friend?” he asked, carrying an armful of oranges.

The man, Rick, had been crying.

“Scotty. . .” he answered.

Ismael rushed into the trailer. The two boys were in the living room watching a T.V. show. Ismael intruded and walked to the back room. Little Scott looked diminished.

He was shivering, and Ismael knew something was very wrong. The previous day, the boy had been playing on his lap, teaching Ismael words.

“Duck, duck, duck” said Ismael and Scott gave a weak smile. Ismael peeled an orange and fed some to the boy. The boy choked and gagged, but swallowed a bit. Without hesitation, Ismael raced back to his trailer because something else Ismael was never without was aspirin.

He rummaged through his closet and found Tylenol. The Spanish speaking and pharmacist had said it was good for fevers. He heard a shuffling noise and turned horrified. Again, he had neglected to close his fucking door.

There it was; a man in his mid-twenties, with half of his head missing. No, gnawed off. He reeked so awfully, Ismael wasn’t sure how he had missed the stench. He was shirtless, wearing soggy boxers.

Standing still like a hunted animal, Ismael stopped breathing. He looked for Rick and found no one. He carefully put the Tylenol in his pocket and reached for the hammer. Ismael swung the hammer and missed the head, connecting with the shoulder. A sickening crack almost made Ismael lose his nerve.

Estupido he chastised himself. The young man sat confused but instinctively leaned forward. Ismael fell back and was caught by the wall. He swung again nailing the skull and swung again until he heard a satisfying thud. Ismael began crying, but before he could lose his composure, he got up and ran out the door, remembering to close it.

*


Two days passed, and he had not seen his friends. Ismael wanted to come over and help, but he knew he was not welcome. Sometimes, a man had to deal with hardship on his own. But, the previous day, he had left another box and added some mint leaves. Hopefully, Rick would know what to do.

The next day, Ismael was glad to see the box was gone.

*


He saw her again. The young girl. But this time she spoke in Betty the Whorse’s voice. Tell my family, she begged. But it was impossible. Ismael awoke screaming. It was late in the day; he checked his own vitals. He was alive and fine. Then he heard Rick, “Come on Scott! Run to daddy.” Ismael’s heart raced. He almost tripped as he made his way to the living room. The old smell of blood was still there no matter how much he scrubbed. He looked out the window and nearly shouted for joy.

Scott was walking around, but he was walking away from Rick. It was a miracle! Rick was crouched as Ismael had seen him so many times before, ready to catch his son and throw him up in the air.

Finally, something good, no something better.

Ismael walked out in his underwear, “Hola amigo.”

That made Scott turn. Ismael froze. Scott jerked when he walked and his mouth was hanging. An endless stream of drool fell out of his mouth.

“No, no,” said Rick, “Come to Daddy!”

Ismael looked at Rick and noticed the gun behind his back. Part of him wanted to hide in his trailer, board up the door, and never come out again. But, he looked towards the window and saw them. He did the only decent thing he could do, he brought the boys their presents and told them to keep playing.

“You play!” he said cheerfully. Ismael had made the boys simple puppets out of wood. He held onto the third one and dangled it behind Rick.

“Ven Escott! Ven mijo,” he said in the same stupid tone of voice Rick used. The boy sped up a bit, reaching up for Ismael. He was three feet away, and Ismael’s heart was hammering in his throat. Ismael was not afraid of the boy, but of something else.

Scott was two feet away. Ismael stared at Rick, and at the last moment, the father swung the gun and ended Scott’s walk. Rick whimpered and tensed up as the held caressed the trigger.

“Don’t my friend,” he wanted to say, but his tongue was stuck in his throat. Rick relaxed his grip, put the gun to the side, and picked up his boy. Rick gently closed his eyes and his mouth. Besides the blood that pooled and thickened, the boy looked fast asleep. Rick held him for a long time, and Ismael worried that Rick would hold his son forever. The boys were still entertained when Ismael came out with the shovel.

“My friend,” he whispered, and Rick gave him a piercing look.

*


Two weeks later, Ismael had them all over to his trailer, for the first time. Rick was bearing the loss better than Ismael thought, but he had the other boys. Even so, he would check on them often, bringing some peaches or cauliflower. A little whittled toy. Ismael found that that he could go into nearby towns and frequented the library, something he could not do without papers before. Ismael’s new task was learning to can goods, but the cookbooks in Spanish were limited.

The boys sat around him with their puppets.

“I ever tell you,” said Ismael, “how I come here? To America?”

“Came,” said the second oldest, grinning at him. Their task was to teach him English.

He smiled warmly trying to remember all the new words he knew.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Sixth Page

[Note: This short story that is not so short is being serialized and slowly rewritten in my blog. This is the sixth installment.]

The girl pedaled faster looking to impale Jack in the chest. Sad had to think fast. He saw a large bone and threw it at the bike. The bone didn’t catch in the spoke, but it hit her and caused Sally to veer off and fall. The girl tumbled twice and ended with her butt sticking up in the air.

Jack took advantage of her fall, and he ran towards her. Sad looked past them and saw all of her friends charging towards them; there were at least ten, including the weird kid with the clean shirt, who trailed behind them without enthusiasm.

“NO JACK! IT’S A PACK ATTACK!”

Jack stopped on his tracks, and they ran off towards the market.

A grown up yelled in the distance, “Look at your sister!”

By the time they reached the market sign, they were out of breath. Sad turned back to see a woman smacking all the kids with Sally’s broomstick. Jack guffawed and turned to his brother. They grinned at each other, turned, and took in the market.

There were a mere two rows and five vendors. Sad remember two years ago, when the market was full of vendors. There were more old people, then, and more mothers. He remembered a yellow haired woman who would always give him popcorn. That was before the werewolves were so many. Before people started turning on each other because anyone could turn into them. To the right, there was a woman selling dried dog meat. Another one sold mismatched parts for tents. A small group of teenagers bartered herbs for cloth. On the left were the weapons. There were no guns today, just homemade slayer sticks. Even Sad knew they broke easily and wouldn’t pierce werewolf skin; most of them were spray-painted silver. A slayer stick had to be razor sharp with real silver coating. Sad stared at the guy manning the table; he was young with a large scar on his left cheek. “Man, your slayer sticks suck!” said Jack. The man wanted to rebuff, but he recognized the kids and kept quiet. At the end was the rat roaster. Sad giggled when he saw he wore a skirt with flowers on it and a thin red shirt.

They walked slowly inspecting the goods. Sad slumped disappointed; nobody was peddling cans.

“Hey Jack!” said the rat roaster, “You boys causing trouble?”

“Hi—Mr.—Wong,” answered Jack, “Of—Course—Not.” Jack grinned at the old man, making a point to pause at the skirt.

Mr. Wong eyed Sad, “Gotta watch out with the urchins. They’re tough.”

“I know,” answered Sad, “I think I broke a boy’s nose. He didn’t even cry.”

Mr. Wong chuckled and offered them a rat on a stick, “Fresh off the grill.”

“Freebies?” asked Jack with a charming smile.

“No way Jose. This isn’t the Tucson Commie Camp.”

Sad laughed, “Those guys are crazy. One of them gave me some of their stuff to read. I used it for toilet paper.” Sad took out his lollypop and offered it.

“Hmm, well, that’s a start. Got anything else?”

Sad reached into his inside pant pocket and slowly pulled out part of his treasure, “Here, found these in the dessert.”

“Ah! Two rats then.” The old man took the nails, “Good for large traps.”

Sad spoke between slobber, “Hey, Dad says he wants to trade bullets for food. Carry food.”

“I don’t want the eyes!” whined Jack.

Sad grabbed the stick and bit the head off.

“Just the eyes!”

“Shut up,” muffled Sad.

“How many bullets?” asked Mr. Wong. He wiped the sweat off his face with a red sock. Sad admired his eyes and dark skin. Mr. Wong always talked to them like people, not barked orders or ignored them. Or worse, tried to use them for something bad.

Sad pretended to remember, “I think five, maybe seven.”

“Please, don’t try to con me, squirt,” said Mr. Wong.

Jack laughed, “You know dad has lots of bullets.”

“Silver?“ asked Mr. Wong.

“Four,” answered Sad as honestly as possible, “He has a lot of regular rounds. They were soaked in holy water.” That was true.

The old man’s face lit up, “No fooling?”

“Hunter’s honor,” said Jack, holding up his left hand, “We found an underground church in Flagstaff. The priest blessed all of our stuff. He even dunked Jack in water and said something long and boring. It was funny.”

Mr. Wong chuckled, “Tell your dad I have tomatoes and pees. Nothing else.”

“Ah, man,” whined Jack, “I hate tomatoes.”

“Dad doesn’t,” said Sad, kicking at his brother, “Thank you Mr. Wong. We’ll be right back.”

Mr. Wong analyzed the boys, “Hmmm. Looks like you two better shave your heads.”

Jack looked startled, “Oh, no! Don’t tell Dad. We used up all the stuff he had.”

“What’s with the dress?” asked Sad, changing the subject.

Mr. Wong paused, “I’ve lost so much weight, Mrs. Wong needs to repair my pants. Besides, the skirt is cooler.”

Jack caught on, “Ha ha! Are you sure you’re not Mrs. Wong?”

Mr. Wong laughed, rattling his make shift grill, “I swear—“

A lonely howl froze the old man. Mr. Wong grabbed his grill, shouted, “RUN!” and ran, faster than was ladylike.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Fifth Page (Writing Tip: Unlike a tree, you can cut anywhere in a story.)

[Note: This short story that is not so short is being serialized and slowly rewritten in my blog. This is the fifth installment.]

“I’m sorry,” said the girl with a fresh bruise on her right cheek, “You’re not stupid. . . .You’re wolf-loving retard. Dumb fuck!”

That set Jack into a renewed frenzy, as she ran away giving him the finger.

Sad saw Doc having a stomach spasm, as he held his brother and a loud laugh back.

“Don’t encourage him, Doc,” said Summer, “Knock it off. Everyone is looking at you two.”

Sad stopped and walked toward his dad. His father glared at him, “What do you want, you jackass? A hug? Go on with your brother and stop picking fights. You, go see if anyone wants to trade food for bullets. And stay out of trouble!”

“But dad!” said Sad, trying to explain about the boy—that shirtless tough boy who probably had a lot of friends in town.

“No buts!”

Sad reluctantly headed for the market.

“Shit,” he mumbled, “This is all your damned fault, you short shit.”

“So, I’m proud to be a shorty. Makes me special—Hey you got that boy good in the face.”

“Yeah but he was tough. He’ll come get us later. So will your girlfriend.”

Jack laughed, “That girl was easy.”

Sad glared at his brother, “You’re always getting us in trouble and dad never hits—“

An object slammed into Sad’s face.

Before Sad could respond, a rain of rocks came down on them. Jack and Sad ran so fast, they didn’t see Sally on the bike chasing after them. She held a large broken broomstick in one of her hands.

“Let’s see who’s really stupid now!” she screamed.

Sad turned to look at her, “Ah crap. Find cover!”

A few yards away sat a mound of bones. He sought shelter behind it. Sad turned and realized his brother, like always, didn’t bother to hide.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Fourth Page

[Note: This short story that is not so short is being serialized and slowly rewritten in my blog. This is the fourth installment.]

The girl was tough, probably much older than Jack, but once Jack went berserk, there was no stopping him. Jack instantly went for her hair and pulled her down. He straddled her and delivered a series of punches. Sad for his part punched the boy so hard in the nose, he heard a crack and a steady stream of blood began to flow. The boy was no wimp. He didn’t even cry, and that’s when Sad knew he was in trouble. The boy gave Sad a steely glare, and Sad sucked in air.

“Hey! Cut it out!” cried Doc, “Sally and Rob! What have I told you about picking fights? Go home before someone breaks a bone. And take that freaky cult kid with you!”

Sally pulled Jack’s hair, as he punched her mercilessly.

Doc pulled them apart, “Stop it you two, or I’ll grab my slayer stick and beat you both.”

Sad stepped back and made the truce sign. The boy walked away without replying, his quiet friend following in tow.

Jack was still lashing out.

“Jack!” the familiar voice froze his brother, “You’re wailing on a girl!”

“Who cares? That dumb girl called me stupid, Dad! I’m not stupid! I only eat real food, not people.”

Monday, April 18, 2011

Third Page (Tip: Stick with your writing schedule)

[Note: This short story that is not so short is being serialized and rewritten in my blog. This is the third installment.]

O.K., I won't lie. I really don't have one yet, but I make it a point to get on every day. I figure if I get a good thirty minutes in, that's a great start. (Of course, now I'm trying to type, and my husband decided to start praying over me. Pause.)

I don't like missing sleep, but it may have to be in the evenings. That way, my son won't be closing my lap top every time (and it's often) he feels I am giving it too much love.
==========Third Page==================
“What do you say?” commanded his father and added, “Freaking kids. Send them in to get water, and they want sugar,”

Before answering, Sad and Jack ran out the door.

Sad scanned the scene before him. There were peddlers with old canned goods. A rare, old woman selling puppies and kittens. In the distance, Sad spotted a small group of raggedy kids. He turned back to his little brother.

“Ah Jack! Why didn’t you wait?” said Sad, slapping Jack behind his head.

“I like to eat mine,” he said as purple slobber dribbled down his chin, “Whatcha gonna trade yours for?”

“A hell, I dunno. Maybe a sling shot. Maybe a puppy,” he answered scratching a spot on the top of his head.

Jack giggled, “A puppy? No way! Can’t keep one of those.”

“Can’t have a bike either,” retorted Sad.

Jack’s face contorted, “You don’t know anything about puppies.”

“Look stupid! I’m two years older than you! I know my letters, and I’m old enough to have one!”

“You’re seven. I’m five, and I know my letters better than you!”

“Shut up,” Sad pushed Jack on the ground, but that only encouraged his teasing.

“What letter comes after G?” taunted Jack.

“Go fuck yourself!” Sad walked away. He turned to give Jack a dirty look, but he was already marching confidently to the group of kids. Sad sighed heavily and ran to catch up. They stopped two yards before the defiant group. Sad inspected their feet. One of them wore makeshift shoes made out of Coke can holders and some sort of green plastic. The girl was wearing clothes that were too big. One of the boys had orange hair and a black eye. He only wore blue shorts. The other boy wore a spotless white shirt and black pants. He had dark hair and pale skin. Sad’s skin crawled just looking at him. He was so clean, Sad wanted to drag him down the street and infest his hair.

“What you got ‘ta trade?” asked a tough voice. It was the boy with the shorts and orange hair.

“Nothing with you sorry shorts!” answered Sad.

The boy looked uncertain, “I’m no short! I’m ten years old.”

The girl scratched her head, staring longingly at Jack’s lollypop, “Ah, he ain’t got a damn thing to trade.”

“Does too!” yelled Jack, “My brother has all kinds of stuff!”

“Oh, yeah? Like what?” asked the girl.

“Nothing to trade with you licey losers,” Sad answered, holding his hands down tight.

The girl scratched her head harder, “Let’s go Rob. These kids are stupid.”

On reflex, Jack spat out the white stick and tackled the girl. Taking on the boy with red hair, Sad followed suit. The other boy stepped back and watched; even in Gila Bend, Arizona, fair was fair.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

The Writing Tip?

Oh, I totally spaced my earlier ambition, a writing tip with each post. Well, that's just not possible, but I will include a tip here and there. But, I do want to rehash an old tip, Tip: Get on a damned writing schedule. It's not uncool to do that. Besides, I am getting to that point in my life where most of what I write I can cut down. And nothing is so great it can't be rewritten anyway. So, get on your schedule! Get on it before life invades your head.

Second Page (Well, now what?)

[Note: This short story that is not so short is being serialized and rewritten in my blog. This is the second installment.]

Now, what indeed. I started serializing this monster of a story. I figure a page or so a post will force me to see it on a micro level, so I can decide what the Sam heck to do with it. I suppose I could rewrite it on the bottom at least twice (why try to do too much) and choose the best parts. The good news is that I'm doing this regularly. Now, if only I would brave up and get some feedback. Brave up, brave up!

==============Second Short Segment===========
“Bad for Gila Bend: Good for business. You two go see Doc and get some water.
I’ll go see the leader about getting paid for the last kill,” Summer grabbed the pack from Sad’s back, and readjusted his slayer weapon. Sad analyzed the shorter silver slayer stick and saw the new serrated edge on it. Most hunters favored a longer pole-like creation, but his father liked to move quickly.

Jack whooped, “Can I get a bike?”

Summer and Sad both answered, “No.”

They boys walked for a bit, until they found the small structure. It was white with a large red cross outside the front door. There were no patients waiting outside. They snuck in, keeping low. It was Jack’s favorite.

Sad Summer-Hunter listened intently; that only made the itch on his head intensify, as a bastard louse bit the right side of his head. He stared at Doc and his well-kept hair. Sad was sure Doc never smelled like crap. Sure he never had to shave his head. In fact, Doc’s hair was always a shiny clean black.

“It’s the worst week,” Doc said. Today, he wore a large army jacket that got in the way of his work. Sad always liked visiting Doc, but there was no candy anywhere in sight. He hoped Doc would eventually notice his scratching, so he would offer something for the lice.

The woman squeezed Doc’s shoulder, “What else can you do, Doc? Even doctor-doctors rarely deliver healthy babies. It’s near im-fucking-possible. You do what you can with the med-book and your training. Better than those leaf plastering jerks with their herbal bullshit or the Jesus miracle workers.”

Doc snorted, “I guess, but this one,” he sighed showing her a jar with blue liquid, “this one was normal. See? No claws.”

Jack was about to pounce on Doc, but he noticed the small thing in the jar. It looked like a skinned rat.

“What’s that?” asked Jack.

Sad shushed him.

Doc and the woman looked back at them, “Jack and Sad! When did you guys get here? Where’s your dad?”

Doc hid the jar in a drawer, “Rita, these are my pals, Jack and Sad.”

“What was that you stuck in the drawer?” Jack asked louder.

“Don’t worry, little dude. Here,” said Doc pulling a purple lollypop out of a secret pocket, “bet you haven’t had this flavor.”

Sad stamped his foot, “He always gets the best ‘cuz he’s little!”

“Hey, stop that whiney bitch act!” said his father, stepping in from behind. Sad snapped his mouth shut.

“It’s cool, Summer. I got one for him too.”

Sad squealed and snatched the candy.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

First Page (And Random Comments)

Well, Damn,

Here I am almost 40 years old.  OK, it's not about the age because I still feel like a 20 year old, even though my body doesn't, but I DIDN'T REACH MY GOAL OF GETTING ON A WRITING SCHEDULE OR SENDING SHIT OUT!

That is just not right.   (It's also not right because I figured I do have time to write; I just have to turned off the fucking T.V. and not play on line.)  The stupid werewolf story, never got finished.  So I thought I would post it here as a serial; that should help me get perspective.  The seeds of a good plot are there, I just need to refine it.

 On a marginally related note, I read Ender's Game and was happy to see that he wrote about children using intelligent voices.  It was one hell of  a great story, and the character development was great.  I also respect a writer who uses a notebook.  I am, in truth, a notebook writer, and that may be the route to go because my toddler is so jealous of the computer.  And no, the baby isn't the block to me getting on.

Well, here's the first page.
======
Maria J. Estrada
April 24, 2010

Sad stilled his hands, as he walked into the town of Gila Bend, AZ; he hit his head against his shoulder, but couldn’t reach that itchy spot. He couldn’t let his father know about his plight, or he’d wind up a cone-headed freak. To make things worse, during the three-mile walk, his little brother Jack had jumped over every desert bush, attacked all the anthills, and tried to chase random jackrabbits. Sad wished he could tie a rope around him because every time he got too far, Sad had to go after him, and today, he carried a heavy pack.

Their father, Summer Hunter never brought their car into town, for fear of having their gas siphoned or their car cannibalized. Or worse. Turning away from his father, as he inspected the town, he hastily rubbed his fist against the side of his head. The McDonalds was still boarded up and the fossilized armed guard walled the gas station. Most of the buildings through the main road were still burned down, except for the hotel and a few tents pitched inside a fenced in area. He sighed, as the warm summer air made his scalp itch even worse.

They approached the familiar sign with red writing: Population 52, Victims 6.

Jack reached Sad, smacking him on the back. “That’s three more,” said Jack cockily, “Huh, Sad?”

Sad glared at his little brother and glanced up at his dad.