[Note: This short story that is not so short is being serialized and slowly rewritten in my blog. This is the fifth installment.]
“I’m sorry,” said the girl with a fresh bruise on her right cheek, “You’re not stupid. . . .You’re wolf-loving retard. Dumb fuck!”
That set Jack into a renewed frenzy, as she ran away giving him the finger.
Sad saw Doc having a stomach spasm, as he held his brother and a loud laugh back.
“Don’t encourage him, Doc,” said Summer, “Knock it off. Everyone is looking at you two.”
Sad stopped and walked toward his dad. His father glared at him, “What do you want, you jackass? A hug? Go on with your brother and stop picking fights. You, go see if anyone wants to trade food for bullets. And stay out of trouble!”
“But dad!” said Sad, trying to explain about the boy—that shirtless tough boy who probably had a lot of friends in town.
“No buts!”
Sad reluctantly headed for the market.
“Shit,” he mumbled, “This is all your damned fault, you short shit.”
“So, I’m proud to be a shorty. Makes me special—Hey you got that boy good in the face.”
“Yeah but he was tough. He’ll come get us later. So will your girlfriend.”
Jack laughed, “That girl was easy.”
Sad glared at his brother, “You’re always getting us in trouble and dad never hits—“
An object slammed into Sad’s face.
Before Sad could respond, a rain of rocks came down on them. Jack and Sad ran so fast, they didn’t see Sally on the bike chasing after them. She held a large broken broomstick in one of her hands.
“Let’s see who’s really stupid now!” she screamed.
Sad turned to look at her, “Ah crap. Find cover!”
A few yards away sat a mound of bones. He sought shelter behind it. Sad turned and realized his brother, like always, didn’t bother to hide.
Here's the problem with that tip, It's still hard to execute. Ha ha. No pun intended. But in reality, lines, even characters will have to be deleted. For me, it's the sections that "overtell" such as, "Sad turned and realized his brother, like always, didn’t bother to hide."
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